On His Lawn

One of the many, many things I love about my husband is that he gives good rant. He is very smart and funny and sometimes it is worth it to annoy him just to listen to him go off.

Here are several fail-proof ways to get my husband riled up (or, as we call it, how you can get on his lawn*)

  1. Refer to Aaron Copland’s iconic song Rodeo as “the beef its what’s for dinner song

 2.    Argue that it is unreasonable for race directors to make and enforce rules against iPod use. Or wear a music player to race that has rules against it. Actually, you pretty much get him going be being in favor of running outdoors with music of any kind and/or by saying something to the effect that you “couldn’t run without music” ** 

He is very much a running purist who likes the quiet, focused state one can get into when running outside alone.

3. Leave straw wrappers in the car cup holders or pocket of the car door. This one might just apply to me.

4. Be the magazine Runner’s World.

5. Better yet, be the magazine Runner’s World and publish an article about the cutest new running skirts on the market***.

Probably not Kenyan

Probably not Kenyan

6. Even better, be Runner’s World and always, always have an attractive white person on the cover and almost never have the best runners in the world on the cover. Would it kill them to have a Kenyan on the cover? They are, you know, pretty good at the running thing. And it is Runner’s World so maybe a non-US athlete every now again wouldn’t be out of the question.

Not from Ethiopia

Not from Ethiopia

7. Be a television show with really, really crappy dialogue. Specifically, the new shows Mercy and Three Rivers. The commercials alone angry up his blood.

So, what gets on your lawn? Fitness related or not.


* as in “You damn kids! Get off my lawn!

** His response? Then don’t run. Do a sport you can enjoy without having to distract yourself.

*** Him: Why are magazines always insisting that women look cute? Why do you have to worry about looking cute while you are a runner?

2 thoughts on “On His Lawn

  1. Kelly says:

    Can I just say, I LOVE the running skirt. They are cute, but also very functional. I will challenge Michael on this one, I’m not afraid of his Phd.

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