So, I bought myself one of these a few weeks ago:
I had been thinking about buying one for a while but had gotten myself all assed up about the purchase because plus size female wetsuits are hard to find and I felt embarrassed that I need a plus sized suit. I figured I’d have to buy a male suit but I worried that my boobs and hips would be too big. Wetsuits are expensive and I didn’t want to waste money on something that wouldn’t really fit me.
Then, finally, I got a $100 Amazon gift card in the mail that I had been waiting months for (the result of a hotel debacle and a strongly worded letter. Yay, again, for the strongly worded letter!) and implusively I ordered the suit. I had planned to go to a sporting goods store and to try some suits on but I kept putting it off. For some reason it was intimidating me. It was easier just to click a button on Amazon and then to try to forget I bought it
The suit arrived the first day in the new house and I looked at the box, got goosebumps and hid the box in the closet. I was afraid of it.
I was afraid of an inanimate object.
I finally made myself try it on this weekend. I wasn’t feeling braver really, but I am still a cheapsake and if it totally didn’t fit I wanted to be able to return it before the 30 day deadline passed.
It was a struggle to get it on, but a struggle in a way that is probably normal for tight wetsuits. It fits.
And I’m still scared of it.
I think I am afraid because now I have it and I have no excuse not to start training for the Point to LaPointe swim this summer. I think I am afraid of it because I feel so very out of shape right now and I know I need to get going again. I think I am afraid of it because, even though I am a strong swimmer, open water swimming still scares me. Open water swimming in cold and choppy water (a la Lake Superior) really scares me.
Or, maybe, I’m afraid of it because I am a melodramtic asshole who gets herself freaked out for no good reason.
Maybe a combination of all those things?