Fear of inanimate objects

So, I bought myself one of these a few weeks ago:

No, not a blond man.

The wetsuit.

I had been thinking about buying one for a while but had gotten myself all assed up about the purchase because plus size female wetsuits are hard to find and I felt embarrassed that I need a plus sized suit. I figured I’d have to buy a male suit but I worried that my boobs and hips would be too big. Wetsuits are expensive and I didn’t want to waste money on something that wouldn’t really fit me.

Then, finally, I got a $100 Amazon gift card in the mail that I had been waiting months for  (the result of a hotel debacle and a strongly worded letter. Yay, again, for the strongly worded letter!) and implusively I ordered the suit. I had planned to go to a sporting goods store and to try some suits on but I kept putting it off. For some reason it was intimidating me. It was easier just to click a button on Amazon and then to try to forget I bought it

The suit arrived the first day in the new house and I looked at the box, got goosebumps and hid the box in the closet. I was afraid of it.

I was afraid of an inanimate object.

I finally made myself try it on this weekend. I wasn’t feeling braver really, but I am still a cheapsake and if it totally didn’t fit I wanted to be able to return it before the 30 day deadline passed.

It was a struggle to get it on, but a struggle in a way that is probably normal for tight wetsuits. It fits.

And I’m still scared of it.

I think I am afraid because now I have it and I have no excuse not to start training for the Point to LaPointe swim this summer. I think I am afraid of it because I feel so very out of shape right now and I know I need to get going again. I think I am afraid of it because, even though I am a strong swimmer, open water swimming still scares me. Open water swimming in cold and choppy water (a la Lake Superior) really scares me.

Or, maybe, I’m afraid of it because I am a melodramtic asshole who gets herself freaked out for no good reason.

Maybe a combination of all those things?


3 thoughts on “Fear of inanimate objects

  1. Gretchen says:

    Wetsuits ARE scary unless they’re being worn by a guy who looks like the one in the picture. In some episode of Boston Legal, William Shatner tries on a shorts-length wetsuit and admires himself in the mirror. Also scary. Think of that and hopefully your wetsuit will be less scary.

  2. Ellie says:

    So I’ve taken to your blog and figured I’d put a post out there to make it official. Make sure that wetsuit fits because I’ll not only be impressed that you faced the totally natural fear of zipping yourself into a skin tight suit of lycra (and I ask, who out there would not be fearful of this?) , but also will make sure to be present to cheer you on when you dive into lovely Lake Superior in August. And you will be LOVING that wetsuit in that moment to be certain.

  3. Wendy says:

    Hi Ellie!

    I am planning to try to get over the wetsuit fear by going for a swim in Gray’s (Grey’s?) Lake as soon as it stops with all this rain, rain, rain. Hopefully that will help the fear factor.

    That would be so fun if you were there to cheer me on. Love that idea!

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