Dear Person X,
I am so sorry to bother you. Really.
I’d much rather ask any other person for help than you. But, here’s the thing, I need to ask you because it is your job. You are the only one who can do this small thing I need done. So, I had to ask, knowing that I’d get back an email like the one you just sent, the one that made my eyes roll so hard that I gave myself a bit of brain damage, yeah, that email.
I’ll respond to you politely, professionally and promptly but please know that I will now be picturing you as Aretha Franklin every single time you email me because, Lord, you are the biggest diva I’ve ever met.
PS. Your job is hard, true, and important but you’d get a LOT more sympathy if you weren’t such a whiner.
So, my work day is swell. How about yours?