So, I originally posted this on my last blog but in honor of the upcoming World Cup, I thought I’d share my handy guide to picking a soccer team to cheer for.


My husband, the delightful Mr. Monkey, loves sports. All sports. There is, to my knowledge, no sporting event that he won’t watch on TV (except maybe golf) so we are, of course, watching the World Cup as often as possible. I am quite happy to watch both because some of the commentators have Irish accents and because some of those soccer players have some, umm, delightfully sturdy thighs (not that I’m noticing at all. Nope. I never peek. Mr. Monkey’s legs are the only ones I’ve ever noticed). Also, I love to hear “GGGGOOOOOOOOOAAAAALLLLLLLLLL!” first thing in the morning.

So, prior to  watching the first round of the World Cup, I have developed several strategies to help me determine which country to cheer for that allows me get more emotionally invested in a match between, for example, Iran and Mexico than I might normally be. Feel free to steal this cheering flow chart for your own use at home:

1. I will always root for the US if they are playing. This satisfies any patriotic urges I might have while also soothes the part of me that roots for the underdog.
2. I will always pick the Netherlands. I have to have some love for the motherland and I really like all the Dutch last names. In the event of a US vs. Netherlands match, I will hope for a tie.

3. In any game between an African country and a non-African country, I will choose the African country. My first trip overseas was to Ghana and I loved my time there. I know every country is different and blah, blah, blah but I liked Ghana, so I like Africa. Also, the whole underdog thing usually works for me here.

4. In a match between a Latin American country and a team that isn’t US, Dutch or African, I’ll root for the Latin American country. Unless it is Brazil. I think they are cocky and deserve a loss.

5. In a match between two European countries (not including the Netherlands) I’ll root for which ever one seems closest to the Netherlands. Except Germany. A good Dutch girl doesn’t cheer for Germany.

6. Korea. Sigh. I’m not totally sure what to do with Korea. I guess I’d cheer for them in the event that they were playing a team that isn’t US, Dutch, European, African or Latin American (so, basically if they play Iran or Germany) but I don’t really want them to win. When I lived in Korea I heard endlessly about the innate Korean superiority when it comes to all athletic endeavors, so that got pretty tiring. On the other hand, I do have a “Be the Reds!” Korean soccer t-shirt I could wear in the event of a Korean win. I do want them to beat Japan.

7. I don’t care about Australia one way or the other.

I think that covers all my cheering needs. So, cheer with me now: Go Team US/Netherlands/Ghana/Togo/Ivory Coast/Angola/Tunisia/Mexico/Costa Rica/Ecuador/ Paraguay/or Argentina!


3 thoughts on “Gooooooaaaaaalllllll!!!!!!!!

  1. Sissyface says:

    It’s so funny this is just what I do at Olympics time. My hub loves the Olympics and has them on 24/7, so I root for The Netherlands first (especially the swimmers…so yummy), then pretty much anyone who is against Germany.

  2. Johanna I. says:

    You know this is a special post for me, right? Because the first time you posted it, four years ago, it gave me the opening to email this boy I liked with a link to your post and the next thing I knew I was invited to his house to watch a match and then we went on a real date and he held my hand and then we got married and now we’re going to have a baby (that’s right). So yeah, I like this post.

  3. Wendy says:

    Jo!! Congratulations! I am so excited for you and I had no idea my humble little post had such a wonderful story attached to it (good job little post).

    Despite the fact that I’m *clearly* responsbile for bringing you two together, I won’t ask you to name the baby Monkey in my honor.

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