Computer of Lies

Earlier this month, in a burst of cycling related enthusiasm, I both learned how to change a tube and purchased some essential pieces of equipment: a decent pump, some tube changing tools, an extra tube or two and a bike computer. Now, I should say that I did not buy a top of the line computer. I bought a basic wireless one, just something to track distance, average mph and time (it does a few other things, but I don’t care about those things, so I ignore them). My dear husband installed it for me as I get easily frustrated with directions, especially directions that are more pictures than words (I am the same with maps. Don’t show me a map, please, just write out the directions and I am much more likely to get there).

Dear husband installed the computer and I did my best to follow the directions about how to program it. I programmed it and then turned it off and then haven’t touched it in several weeks as it has been far to rainy to ride.

Seriously, with the rain. After an long winter with epic amounts of snowfall we are now having the fifth wettest June in history. We’ve had four days so far this month without rain. Four! It is a miracle this whole city isn’t covered in mold.

So, today was one of those four days so I finally took my bike out. I rolled it out of my office and headed to the trail. The trail is marked with miles so I figured I could check to make sure the computer was programmed correctly.

I headed out the parking lot, quickly covering the .5 miles to the trail. The trail is blissfully flat and, when not covered in debris from rain, nice and smooth. I pedaled and pedaled and pretty quickly arrived at the one mile marker. I looked down. According to the computer I was going 44 miles per hour.

Let me just say that I had no idea a whole winter of ignoring the bike would make me so fast!

I noted the computer also said I had covered 3.5 miles so far, which is not so accurate. I kept riding, soon coming to mile 2. I checked the computer. I had now covered, according to the computer of lies, 5.9 miles.

I rode for about 40 minutes. According to the computer I covered 28 miles and had an average speed of well over 21 mph. Zippy!

So, yeah. Probably not programmed correctly. I still have the directions but am seriously lacking confidence in my ability to program the damn thing. It is times like this that I especially wish my older brother lived near me. He used to work in a bike shop and rode competitively. I want him to take me out and teach me how to change tires and chains and how and when to shift and how to program this damn computer. But, as he stubbornly insists on living far away from me, I am going to have to learn to do this stuff on my own.

Though, he did drop me on my head once when I was a baby. Maybe the guilt of that will convince him that a trip to Iowa is required at some point?


2 thoughts on “Computer of Lies

  1. James says:

    Should I remind you that I dropped you on your head because you were being a pain in the butt, throwing a temper tantrum and you squirmed out of my grasp?

    But if you ever need bike advice you have my number and I won’t even try to bore you with old bike racing stories. Getting bike computers to read accurately is a pain sometimes, remember to go with the 700cc tire size.

  2. Wendy says:

    I was a baby, throwing temper tantrums was my job.

    Maybe I’ll just keep the computer set the way it is so I’ll feel awesome about my crazy fast cycling skills.

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