On Vanity

There are many, many good reasons for me to continue to work at getting in better shape.

There is my son, who I adore and want to be around as long as possible.

There is my husband, who I adore and who I want to enjoy a long life with.

There is the family history of heart disease and obesity that I want to thwart.

There is the whole feeling comfortable in my own skin thing.

And, there is, of course, the whole weight/appearance thing. I, for a whole host of reasons, try not to let my weight be the thing that motivates me.

Would I like to lose weight? Yes.

Do I think I’d be faster if I did? Yes, hell yes.

 Do I think I’d feel more attractive? Well, yes, but I also know that if I think about losing weight as the primary reason for taking care of myself and training for races, things usually go off the rails for me. I have a complicated history with weight stuff so I do *a lot* of work to make sure I feel good about myself at whatever my current weight is so I refuse to use the numbers on the scale as a club to beat myself up with.

So, officially, all the training I’ve been doing lately (and there has been a good amount of it. The last month has been the best training month I’ve had all year.) about two things: being healthier and trying to get faster/in shape for races..

But, here’s the thing.  I hate my swim suit. Specifically, I hate that as a plus sized swimmer you have complete crap options for swim suits. Look at the Speedo website for example. In the plus size section you have four options in four colors. All are solid prints, all are boring as hell, all are ugly. They have two cuts available: moderate, which is what your grandmother wears, or conservative, which is what the spinster at your grandmother’s church would wear.

What the depressed chubby swimmer will be wearing this season


Now, compare that to the non-plus sized section. Here you have over 100 options and you get crazy things like colors! And patterns! And multiple cuts and strap options! You also get cheaper prices and more clearance options.

You get suits like this:

I want suits that are bright and pink and patterned. I am tired of solid colors and modest leg cuts. I want to tramp it up a bit.

I’m only 31 for crying out loud. I hate swimming in the same suit my mom could wear.

Given the choice between fat and fast or slow and thin, I’d probably choose fat and fast but I can’t deny that I hope that one of the end results of all this training will eventually be that I don’t have to choose between those options.


4 thoughts on “On Vanity

  1. Gayle says:

    I have to say Wendy, you are an inspiration. Really…I have been running again this week for the first time since we tried our couch to 5K stuff. My goal at this point is to just finish a 5K. My inspiration to keep running….pretty running shoes. So silly, but I think the orange ones will be the fastest 🙂 No matter what color and cut your swim suit is you are a rockstar and a hot momma.

  2. Gretchen says:

    Have you looked at the Land’s End swimsuits? Obviously I don’t know your size range but I just looked and they have 91 listings under plus size and stuff is on sale! Ugly swimsuits are happy-killers.

  3. Wendy says:

    You know, I haven’t really looked at many othe places. I think years of swim team have made it so my brain automatically thinks swim suit= Speedo. I’ll have to see if Lands End has lap swimming friendly suits.

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