There are many, many good reasons for me to continue to work at getting in better shape.
There is my son, who I adore and want to be around as long as possible.
There is my husband, who I adore and who I want to enjoy a long life with.
There is the family history of heart disease and obesity that I want to thwart.
There is the whole feeling comfortable in my own skin thing.
And, there is, of course, the whole weight/appearance thing. I, for a whole host of reasons, try not to let my weight be the thing that motivates me.
Would I like to lose weight? Yes.
Do I think I’d be faster if I did? Yes, hell yes.
Do I think I’d feel more attractive? Well, yes, but I also know that if I think about losing weight as the primary reason for taking care of myself and training for races, things usually go off the rails for me. I have a complicated history with weight stuff so I do *a lot* of work to make sure I feel good about myself at whatever my current weight is so I refuse to use the numbers on the scale as a club to beat myself up with.
So, officially, all the training I’ve been doing lately (and there has been a good amount of it. The last month has been the best training month I’ve had all year.) about two things: being healthier and trying to get faster/in shape for races..
But, here’s the thing. I hate my swim suit. Specifically, I hate that as a plus sized swimmer you have complete crap options for swim suits. Look at the Speedo website for example. In the plus size section you have four options in four colors. All are solid prints, all are boring as hell, all are ugly. They have two cuts available: moderate, which is what your grandmother wears, or conservative, which is what the spinster at your grandmother’s church would wear.
Now, compare that to the non-plus sized section. Here you have over 100 options and you get crazy things like colors! And patterns! And multiple cuts and strap options! You also get cheaper prices and more clearance options.
You get suits like this:
I’m only 31 for crying out loud. I hate swimming in the same suit my mom could wear.
Given the choice between fat and fast or slow and thin, I’d probably choose fat and fast but I can’t deny that I hope that one of the end results of all this training will eventually be that I don’t have to choose between those options.