Horoscope

One of the things I love about working on a college campus is getting to hear students discussing the things that they are learning. My office is located close to where students meet tutors and have study tables and so I frequently will hear Spanish being conjugated or mitosis explained while I do my work. Today I heard two students having a fairly vigorous debate about whether or not astrology “counts” as a religion (I suspect this topic comes from a philosophy class, but I could be wrong).

Now, I am not someone who believes in astrology, especially given that I have a twin sister who is quite different from me and the odds that the same predictions would apply to us both on any given day are quite low. I do, however, enjoy reading my horoscope in the Sunday paper and then making fun of it with Mr. Monkey. I usually read mine, his and the kiddo’s, which is always good for a laugh (because, really, hearing that my two year old is “going to make significant changes in his career and love life” makes me giggle. He’s going to quit daycare and break up with Elmo? Really?).

So, listening to this debate made me curious what my horoscope for today said, so I ask Google and this is what I found:

You will have to consider that you have just been practicing a relationship this past summer because now the real deal comes along. The one you met in June is back in your life! Next weekend you will probably say goodbye to Mr./Miss Summer Fling and say hello to Mr./Miss Real Deal. Breakups are hard, but with the proper thought and planning you can do it easily with the minimum of hurt feelings.

I have to say that I think Mr. Monkey is going to be disappointed that our 6 year long summer fling is ending soon. A shame, that. I really like that guy.

Okay, so maybe a different one would be more accurate:

Whether you are single or long-partnered, tonight is perfect for a date. If you have no prospects, ask out someone who seems close to your type — your good energy should get a good response.

  

A good night for a date, huh. Mr. Monkey is working late, so I guess it will be me and the kiddo. I hope he buys me flowers.

Maybe a third one will be more applicable:

 It’s not easy to take the high road when you’re dealing with strong primal feelings this week. And even if you want to keep things friendly and reasonable, you’re likely to be playing with someone who doesn’t follow the rules. But the fun, dear Leo, is in breaking free from your inhibitions and enjoying the naughty delights of letting your rawest emotions run the show

  

Naughty delights of my rawest emotions. I guess Mr. Monkey better make sure he doesn’t work too late…

Okay, just for funsies, one more:

This is a tricky time for you, but will be encouraging from professional point of view. The younger members in your family will get good support and start earning. Those who are eligible for marriage will get married. New avenues will open up. Earning and financial condition will be supportive. Good monsoon and rain will keep farmers and businesspersons happy. Chances of going abroad will open up for those who are studying or seeking a job.


My toddler is getting a job y’all! It is about time he started earning. He’s been kind of a mooch these first two years.

Speaking of the kid, what does his horoscope for today say?

 You are sure to get started on quite a few different projects today, but you don’t have to worry about the consequences. You know perfectly well that there are others who can easily pick them up later!

Well, I guess sometime these things are accurate. Spooky.

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2 thoughts on “Horoscope

  1. Sissyface says:

    Quite different eh? Is that a nice way of saying that you totally think I’m a freak show? JK, I know you totally do! My horoscope says this –

    “It’s vital for you to share your feelings today — even if you’re not sure yourself how certain you are of them. That very uncertainty can be quite appealing to the right kind of person, and honesty is always a plus!”

    I am quite sure that it is meant for you though, as I am not a sharing caring kind of person.

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