I’m not a wine drinker. Never have been. I can handle wine coolers or some white wine heavily diluted with 7-up but that is about it. Some times I kind of wish I did like it because, you know, wine is sort of thing these days. People get excited about it, mothers joke about their kids driving them to drink it, it is the prime socially acceptable thing to bring to a dinner party.
But, no. I don’t like wine. I like Diet Coke. A lot. A whole really lot.
Diet Coke doesn’t have the social cache of wine though so I feel unsophisticated.
It did occur to me, however, that not liking wine has two advantages: money and risk reduction. First, Diet Coke is much cheaper than wine and, importantly, you get free refills of Diet Coke at restaurants. If I drank as much wine at a restaurant as I drink Diet Coke I’d be both drunk as a skunk and poor as a church mouse. Winner:Diet Coke.
On the risk factor, I never have to worry that I’m not going to like my beloved DC. I see people sip wine and say “oh, that’s good” about an especially yummy wine which implies to me that not all wines are yummy and this makes me feel satisfied with my palates’ choices. I never risk drinking a bad Diet Coke because no such thing exists.
In conclusion: Diet Coke is better than wine. I just scientifically proved that. I’m like a scientist now. A beverage scientist