I was checking my Facebook page today and saw a happy announcement about a new baby and it stopped me in my tracks for a moment.

The baby is the second child born to a friend who lives in Arizona, where we moved from almost 2 years ago. When we lived there she was one of my closer friends, someone that I saw regularly, someone who helped host my baby shower when I was pregnant with the kiddo. We’d never really been talk on the phone friends but we saw each other enough that it didn’t really matter.

And, until I saw the birth announcement today, I had kind of forgotten she was pregnant. I knew she was, of course, but it just wasn’t on my radar at all that she was due anytime soon. I just had no day to day contact with her and didn’t see her pregnant and so, in some ways, it didn’t seem real to me that she had another baby on the way.  

I’m thrilled for her and her husband and their family, of course, but I feel sad today. I don’t think we’ll ever live in Arizona again (or at least it is hard to see that happening at this point) and I know that the friend’s I have there will continue to have milestones in their lives that I won’t be a part off. We’ll stay connected through Facebook and my occasional visits back there but it won’t ever be the same as it was when we were more woven into the daily fabric of each other’s lives. I’ll hear about the big stuff (after it happens) but I’ll miss all the small stuff that binds friends together.

I read something the other day that talked about how friendships have a lifespan and I think there is something true about that. I think about the work friends from past jobs that I don’t stay in touch with anymore and the girls I went to college with that felt close like sisters at that time but that are now just status updates on FB to me. I want to believe that there are exceptions though too. My two best friends from Arizona are people I will never, ever not love and want to have in my life. My closest friend in Iowa is someone who feels long term to me as well.

I just feel kind of sad today.

One thought on “Lifespan

  1. Mads says:

    I like the idea of friendships as lifespans. It’s sad to miss the small stuff, but there are some friends who stay like family no matter how long or how far the gap is between you. Those are the friends that bring the most joy to me.

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