I took this cute little Carebear trick-or-treating last night. Well, sort of.
The school where I work has an annual event where you can take kids trick-or-treating around the dorms. We went last year and it was fun and just the right speed for a younger kid– indoors and not too much walking. Last year the kiddo ended up with a pretty full bag of candy (that I ate 90% of and that he had 0% of, with the other 10% being grody candy that got pitched or given to college students) and seemed to enjoy the experience so I eagerly signed up again this year. Theoretically I signed up because I thought the kiddo would like it, but I think I also signed up in the hopes of getting a big old bag of free candy out it. I’m really not that different than I was 20 years ago and Halloween was the highlight of my life. I have a looonnnngggg history of deep and abiding obsession with candy.
This year some things were confused about the process and we were only able to trick-or-treat one dorm floor and so the kid got maybe 10 pieces of candy. I was greatly annoyed. Things were different than last year and last year was better and wah wah wah. And how was the kid? He was, after surviving a bit of a decoration related scare, he was content with what he got because A) he never gets candy and B) he got to sit on the grass and eat Smarties while looking adorable:
I went home feeling grouchy about the whole thing and I couldn’t really figure out why. The kid had an okay time, he wore his costume without complaint, he got to see his buddy J and came home and went to bed with no sugar crashes or crying. I was irritated much more than I should have been.
I finally figured out that I was annoyed that there wasn’t more candy. I’ve been thinking for weeks about declaring candy abstinence, about cutting it out of my life entirely for some as yet determined length of time because I can’t have it in moderation. I only have it in excess. I think I was planning to have a big old candy binge and then give it up. One last hurrah or something.
I went to bed kind of irritated with myself. I feel like I let my obsessive food thing cloud my ability to enjoy an activity that is supposed to be fun for the kid, which is so stupid I can’t even stand it.
So this morning I cleared out my office of candy (and there was A LOT of it) and am declaring candy celibacy. Whatever other Halloween activities might come up in the next couple of days are going to be for my son to enjoy, not for me to greedily loot his candy bag.
I might have to make one exception for the 6 hour race on Saturday as I usually use sport jelly beans as a fuel (as I have major gag/texture issues with Gu and other sports gels) and I know I’ll need some during that race. But after that my goal will be to be candy free for the rest of the year.
Giving up candy 5 days before Halloween is either stupid or brilliant. I’ll let you know.