While I suspect I will be disappointed by some of the election results, I am thrilled that tonight is election night. Thrilled, I say. Bring on the returns, the premature projections (“with 1% of the polls reporting we predict Monkey Von Donkeyshorts to be the winner!”), the magic screens on CNN. I am ready.
Here is how I plan to celebrate the end of the magical time of mid-term elections:
1. I will watch my stories on TV and not be interrupted by an ad of one bland white guy accusing another bland white guy (yes, I live in Iowa) of crimes against humanity, baby eating, and smelling generally turd like.
2. I will consider un-hiding the Facebook status feeds of some of my most annoying relatives and friends from college. I might wait a couple of days on this one, just until the gloating and/or wailing and gnashing of teeth subsides.
3. I will only watch election coverage provided by Jon Stewart.
Thank you and good night.