Scene: Last night, while I’m giving the kiddo a bath

Me (gazing at him tenderly): I love you buddy

Kiddo (gazing at me with soulful eyes): No poop on the floor. Call mama dada.

Me: Okay then.


Scene: Driving home. The car is quiet. Nobody is talking.

Kiddo (suddenly): I don’t like butter.

Me: Yes you do! You love butter on your toast.

Kiddo (emphatically): I NO LIKE BUTTER!

Me: Okay, then.


The scene: a normal evening at home with husband and child. I notice the child is picking his nose (again, always, forever).

Me: Honey, can you wipe off his finger?

Husband: Sure

Child is now rolling a booger between his fingers, making a little ball of nasty. Husband wipes it off with a tissue.

Kiddo (wailing): NOOOOO! Dat MY booger! My booooogggggerrr! Give back, give back, give back!!

Me: Well, okay, then.


Captain obvious here: 2 year olds are a strange breed indeed.

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