The proper steps of vacation preparation, especially when said vacation includes an athletic race of some sort:

1. A few days before you leave, lay in bed and begin to think about what you’ll pack. Think to yourself “You must remember to pack your wetsuit.” Try to fall asleep. Fail because, oh God, what if you forget to pack the wetsuit and you can’t swim? Oh no!

2. Randomly think “remember the wetsuit!” during the next several days. Do this when you are at work, in meetings that require your attention.

3. Go to the library. Check out more books than you can possibly read on a short trip, especially a short trip that involves a toddler.

4. Think about that wetsuit again but add in an extra layer of “must remember the no poop pills” as you know that your stomach gets a bit frantic pre-race and that Pepto is the only thing that stands in the way of a wetsuit disaster.

5. Begin to think about all of the things you need to do on Wednesday night after work in order to be ready to leave at 5am on Thursday morning. Freak out. Email boss and request Wednesday off.

6. Try, with limited success, to get work done at work. Feel distracted by the hum of “vacation vacation vacation” in your head. Realize that obsessively checking the forecast for your destination city on is probably not helping.

7. Distract yourself from thoughts about vacation by indulging in a brief day dream about your upcoming birthday and the presents you might be getting from your spouse. Some new goggles and a swim cap, perhaps? A book?

8. Frantic house cleaning so that if you die in a car crash on vacation people won’t judge you when they come pack up your house after your dead. Or, less morbidly, clean the house so you can come home to a  nice clean house.

9. Careful deliberations on the ideal snack/toy/distractions mixture to keep your three year old happy(ish) on an eight hour drive.

10. Packing and stuff.


3 thoughts on “Vacation

  1. Tracy says:

    Things you do while you are waiting to go into labor:
    1. Think about your friend who is getting ready for vacation and hope that she has a great time, kicks ass in her race and is ready to come see the baby…if he ever gets here.
    2. Unpack a random box you found in the garage of treasures and then throw things out to make room for the stuff you really want.
    3. Obsessively clean everything including, but not limited to: cabinets, cabinet fronts. the fllors, all furniture, bookshelves, laundry, the bathroom (including recaulmking the tub)
    4. Try not to take every person’s head off when the ask you if you are still around when they are looking straight at you. Yes I am STILL here and yes I am STILL pregnant! Want to make something of it?!! (not on edge at all :))

    and of course pee every 30 minutes day and night,

    Good luck babe!

  2. Tracy says:

    I apparently can’t spell either! Oh well. Balancing a laptop on your belly is not the best way to work or see the screen 🙂

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