When I was a kid, maybe around eight or so, there was a story on the local news channel about a man who had gotten lost in the mountains the surrounded the town I grew up in. He was lost for five days but was eventually rescued by a park ranger. The newscaster interviewed him and noted that he survived on by drinking two cans of beer he had with him and also by drinking his own urine.
Now, you can imagine that the idea of drinking your own pee was something that was shocking and unimaginable to my eight year old self. Pee? To drink? Who would imagine such a thing?
I was transfixed by the story and by the man who, and this is important to the story, was missing a good number of his teeth. He had no front teeth up top and several gaps on the bottom.
Ah, I thought, you can drink your own pee to survive, but it will make your teeth fall out.
In my head, ever since then, has existed this correlation. Drinking pee= your teeth will fall out.
It occurred to me today, as I was peeing (because that is one of my chief hobbies of late) that maybe, just maybe, his tooth loss wasn’t related to his pee drinking. Perhaps he had been missing his teeth all along.
Perhaps I am a bit of a moron.