When I was a kid, maybe around eight or so, there was a story on the local news channel about a man who had gotten lost in the mountains the surrounded the town I grew up in. He was lost for five days but was eventually rescued by a park ranger. The newscaster interviewed him and noted that he survived on by drinking two cans of beer he had with him and also by drinking his own urine.

Now, you can imagine that the idea of drinking your own pee was something that was shocking and unimaginable to my eight year old self. Pee? To drink? Who would imagine such a thing?

I was transfixed by the story and by the man who, and this is important to the story, was missing a good number of his teeth. He had no front teeth up top and several gaps on the bottom.

Ah, I thought, you can drink your own pee to survive, but it will make your teeth fall out.

In my head, ever since then, has existed this correlation. Drinking pee= your teeth will fall out.

It occurred to me today, as I was peeing (because that is one of my chief hobbies of late) that maybe, just maybe, his tooth loss wasn’t related to his pee drinking. Perhaps he had been missing his teeth all along.

Perhaps I am a bit of a moron.



3 thoughts on “Realization

  1. Kansas Wiley says:

    My Dear Mrs. Monkey,
    That connection you made between drinking pee and losing teeth wasn’t moronic; it was an hypothesis, which scientists come up with all the time. Since the idea of testing your particular hypothesis understandably wasn’t appealing, you held on to it for a while. And by the way, your hypothesis could still be correct…

  2. Gretchen says:

    I kind of love this story. When I was a kid, I’d see all these “Deer Crossing” signs on the highways. I wondered how the deer knew where to cross…. since they can’t read… I was older than I should have been when I realized they put the signs where deer were likely to cross.

  3. Tracy D, says:

    Thanks to my Grandpa Smith, I thought that George Washington Schwartz was the first president of the United States. He told me that Schwarts wouldn’t fit on the dollar bill and that is why people only know him as George Washington. I believed him for years and even corrected my first grade teacher. I was devistated to learn that Grandpa was pulling my leg. I also learned that day that barber poles were NOT painted with red and white striped paint…Thinking I should pass these on to the kids. It could provide future entertainment, as long as they are as big of a guppy as their mother!

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