Sassy Butt

So, the big news in the monkey household is that there is a little GIRL monkey on the way!

My husband, he who is one of five brothers and the father to three boys, is over the moon excited. I am excited too…excited with a small dash of terror.

Now, I’m sure there are challenges of growing up as a boy, though, frankly my older step-sons have made it looks fairly easy. Not that they were always easy to parent but they didn’t seem to have the same emotional trauma and drama in the junior high and high school that marked the experience for me and many of the women I know now.

I all to keenly remember the particular challenges of being a girl, especially those terrible years of late elementary school through high school. You could not pay me any amount of money to become a junior high student again. I hit puberty early and went through an awkward phase that seemed to last forever. I had girls who were my “best friend” one day tell me that they hated my guts the next day and I never knew why. My clothes were never right, my hair was weird, I never felt cool, not one day.

And I don’t necessarily want my daughter to be cool. Some of the most interesting adults I know weren’t cool for most of their lives. I just want her to feel comfortable in her skin and to know that she is more, so much more, than what some eight grade slam book says about her (for the record, I got on the “biggest boobs” page on the slam book but also on the “nerd” list). I want her to be, as Anne Lamott says, “militantly on her own side”. I want her to know that she is loved every day.

I also want her to know that she’ll never get to own a Bratz doll or any article of clothing that has writing on the butt (no “sassy” butts in the monkey house). She can be a girly girl or a tom boy. She can grow up to love boys or girls. She can be a dancer or an athlete or a rocket scientist or a teacher or, well, anything but a reality tv star.

I can’t wait to meet this kid.


Can we have a small moment of silence for the boy name that we won’t be using after all? Fare thee well Oscar Thelonious, may someone else use you in good health.


7 thoughts on “Sassy Butt

  1. Kari says:

    Exciting!! And we’re having a boy. Here’s to one of each – cheers!

    I don’t know where I first heard it, but I frequently hear in my head, “You have to raise your boys not to be dicks and your girls not to be victims.” Obviously it’s not quite that simple… Your hopes for your little girl very much resonate!

    I had to have a moment of silence for Eowyn Julia Rachel. No idea what our boy will be named…

  2. tennisgal4jc says:

    Having girls is such a pure, amazing joy! I am sure boys are too! Let me tell you, seeing a father have a daughter- it’s amazing too! You are in for a great journey!

    Oscar… loved it!

  3. Amanda says:

    Congrats! We have an Oscar Thelonious, 2 years 4 months right now. I googled the name after he was born (how I found you as well) and there was another one already! Small world.

    • Wendy says:

      I love that there is a little Oscar Thelonious out there! Did people have a strong reaction to the name, especially the middle part, when he was born?

  4. Amanda Rhoads says:

    Weird – my name is Amanda and we also have an Oscar Thelonious! Born June 2010. Too bad I’m commenting 7.5 years after she did – I would have liked to check in with her! My parents didn’t like the name but everyone else was on board.

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