Adventures in Logic (Starring a Three Year Old)

The scene: driving in the car, quietly listening to the radio (NPR, as required by law for all of us pinko liberal parent types)

The kid (suddenly): I want a baby cow. Not a stuffed cow but a real baby cow and I want him to sit on the couch with me and watch the Polar Express movie.

Me: What? Why do you want a baby cow to sit on the couch with you?

The kid: Because a grown up cow would be too big to fit on the couch.

(said in a “Duh, Mama” voice)

***********************************************************************

The kid: Strawberries are an every day food, right Mama?

Me: Yep. Strawberries help you grow big and strong so they are an every day food.

Kid: And red peppers are an every day food too, right Mama?

Me: They sure are

Kid: And candy is a some times food, right. Because candy isn’t a healthy treat.

Me: Right. We can eat candy but just sometimes, not every day.

Kid: And and and…Popsicles! Popsicles are an every day food!

Me: Well…maybe more like a some times food…

Kid: No! They are an every day food because I want to eat them EVERY DAY. See. That’s right.

*************************************

Me: Time to pick up your toys and then go potty.

Kid: No. I don’t want to do that.

Me: It is time, so you need to start picking up now.

Kid: (Whining) I don’t want to do that.

Me: I know, but you played with the toys so you need to pick them up.

Kid: (brightly) I have an idea! My idea is that you pick up the toys and I get a cookie. That is my idea.

Me: Um, no. That isn’t how it works.

Kid: Yeah. It can work that way. I have the idea and then we can do it. Come come Mama (as he pats me on the knee).

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