Scene: the bathroom. I am, for a terribly brief moment, alone. The door opens and the child walks in.

“Mama, I need you to open this for me”

“Okay, here you go.”

“Hey Mama, whatcha doing?”

“I’m going potty”

“Am I privacying you?”

“No, privacy is when you let Mama go the bathroom alone.”

“No, I can privacy you and still be with you in the bathroom.”

“No, because privacy means someone is alone in the bathroom.”

“Well, I don’t want you to be alone. So I’ll privacy you but I’ll stay in the bathroom too.”

(and here is where I sigh and realize I won’t be alone in the bathroom anytime in the next five years).

“Hey Mama?”


“Is poop a bathroom word?”

“Yes, you know that it is”



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