I’m sitting at my desk, trying to catch up at with work stuff. He sits on the floor, quietly putting together a puzzle. I adore him and the big boy he is becoming.

I worry I should be on the floor doing the puzzle with him but I am in the weeds at work and there are grad school applications that need to be worked on and I can’t breath deeply lately because I feel so behind.

So I kiss him on the head and turn back to the computer.


It is cold and dark out. Mr. Monkey has dropped the kids off at my work so he can go teach. The boy wants a snack out of the vending machine and I said no and now he is in full tantrum.

I put the baby in the car. The boy screams that he won’t get in. I pick him up and he squirms and flails and does the rigid star fish so I can’t put him in his car seat.

It is dark and cold and I’m tired and hungry and now the baby is crying.

And I pick him up and I scream “STOP IT! STOP IT NOW” right into his four year old little face. It shocks him into stillness and I quickly buckle him as he starts crying great gasping cries “You scared me Mama, you scared me.”

And I feel like shit but am angry and frustrated and tired and I drive home with him crying the whole way.


I finally have them both in bed.

And I have the GRE tomorrow and work to do on grad school applications tonight.

And I am tired and sad and humbled.

Man. Parenting is hard.


3 thoughts on “Humble

  1. Laura says:

    Oh Wendy, parenting is so hard. And you do SO. MUCH. I hope you know that you are a good parent. There’s so much to juggle, and babies (and I imagine kids, not there yet myself) can be so frustrating. You are only human, and you are a good parent.

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