Dear friend who is pregnant with her first child,
First: SQUEEEEEEE! I am *so* very excited for you and your sweet husband. You will be amazing parents, of this I am 100% sure.
Second: I promise you that I will never, ever say any of the following things to you:
– “Just wait…” this is usually a lead up to telling you some fresh way your life will suck when your child hits some future stage. I promise not to say this unless there is something fun at the end of the sentence.
– “You should…” I promise to try not to give you any advice you haven’t asked for. You are smart, you’ll figure out what you need to do.
– “Well, Miles always…” I won’t use my kids as the template for what your kid should do or how they should do it.
Third: I promise that I won’t use my parenting style as the measure of your parenting style. There are many ways to lovingly parent and I will do my very best to not to ever make you feel judged…unless we end up on differing sides of the whole vaccination thing, which is the one parenting issue with which I can not be “different strokes for different folks” about. You, ahem, may already know that.
Fourth: You are going to be a beautiful pregnant person.
Fifth: You can complain to me about being pregnant as much as you want to. It is the most magical suckfest ever.
Sixth: I’m done having babies so I’m gonna need you to let me hold that baby a lot. Like, a ridiculous amount. Because I love babies generally and I know I am going to love this baby in particular.