(*i.e. things that feel true but maybe aren’t totally technically true)

1. If you are a woman (or, perhaps, a dude who is into such things) you will feel about 57% cuter than normal if you are wearing a matching bra and unders set.

2. If you workout hard enough to feel sore the next day, you are expected to work said soreness into at least three conversations or else the workout didn’t really count.

3 If someone above you in the food chain uses the word “twats” to describe another department, your best bet is to keep a neutral facial expression and not do this:

Picard Laughing

4. Nothing good can come of Googling “toddler rash photos”. NOTHING.

5. If you put read receipts on Every.Single.Email you send you should get your computer replaced with a typewriter posthaste until you can demonstrate that you have earned the right to email back.

6. The best time to remember that they installed new security cameras at work is NOT after you have just wriggled out of a sweaty sports bra in your office.

7. Cottage cheese looks like a side effect of a bad infection.

8. Red Vines are, in every way, superior to Twizzlers.

9. The best of all possible weather scenarios is either: rainy afternoon when you have nothing to do but read or sunny and 72 when you are near water.

10. Not all babies are cute. All babies are precious, but not all babies are cute.


2 thoughts on “Facts*

  1. velocibadgergirl says:

    I disagree vehemently on the Red Vines / Twizzler issue, but that Picard gif has made me so happy that I’ll forget the whole thing.

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