On Leaving

I have four more full days at my job. I’ve been working here for three and a half years and have probably never been more challenged in a job than this one. Those challenges have been both good and bad; the highs in the job are very high, the lows are very, very low. I am mostly excited to be leaving, though sad to leave behind people I consider friends and faces that I look forward to seeing every morning.

There is a going away party for me on Monday morning and I am already squirmy feeling about it. I hate goodbyes and being the center of attention for something like this. I would prefer just to quietly sneak out the back door on my last day and pretend it isn’t happening. I also know that, in truth, there are some people who will be sad to see me go and will be coming to say goodbye but there will also be some people who are just there for the snacks. I’ve been the boss for 35 people and I am sane enough to realize that there may even be those who are happy to see me go.

I feel like I haven’t really started processing the fact that soon I’ll be saying goodbye to my best friend and to the neighborhood I love so much. I was filling out paperwork for M’s new school and had a bit of an “oh, shit, this is real” moment when it came time to fill out who is emergency contact would be…I have no idea. Here we have friends that are like family and there we don’t have anyone yet.

I’m worried that I’m in for some lonely months.

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