This Week in Conversations

International student from Brazil: “People keep telling me it is going to get colder.”

Me: “Yep, that is what I hear.”

Him:”But I…I…I just don’t know how that is even possible

(It is 25. This is Minnesota. It is so sadly possible that it is going to be colder)


Waiter: “So, are you going homework?”

Me: “Yep!”

Him: “What kind of homework?”

Me: “Working on a paper for grad school.”

Him: “Oh, like a dissertation?”

Me: “Kind of”

Him: “How long do you want it to be? Those are usually long, right?”

Me: “I’m not sure how long it will be. Probably between 50-75 pages.”

Him: “It is like crazy that there is even enough to talk about for that long. Don’t you just start like repeating yourself or making shit up?”

Me: *blink* *blink*


Miles: “I just don’t understand how I used to drink from you. It doesn’t make sense”

Me: “Well, there are little holes…”

Miles: “Can I see them?”

Me: “No, you can’t see them now and remember nipples are a privacy thing for me.”

Miles: “Because your nipples look kind of old now?”

Me: *blink* *blink*


Me: “Okay, Miles, so remember when you are doing greater than and less than, it is always “little side eats big side” when you do the > or the <, right?”

Miles: “The little side ALWAYS eats the big side?”

Me: “Yes”

Miles: “Well, I don’t think that is fair. Why doesn’t the big side ever get a chance?”


Friend: “….and, basically, she totally sucks.”

Me: “Can you talk to her about it? Is she open to feedback?”

Friend: “I don’t think she is open to the feedback of “SUCK LESS”.

Me: “Well, probably not.”

Friend: “Maybe if I try it in a more positive way. Like “Hey, I notice that you are really good at sucking. Maybe you could tone it down just a little?”


Me: “Okay, Miles, what is 8+2?”

Evelyn: “GREEN!”

Me: “Um, not quite baby girl”

Evelyn: “Blue?”

Me: “Still no”

Miles (disgustedly): “Those aren’t even numbers. She was no idea what she is talking about”

Me: “Well, she’s two, so…”


2 thoughts on “This Week in Conversations

    • Wendy says:

      Me too. Sadly, she was talking about her boss, so I think she’ll end up screaming “Suck LESS” in her mind while she smiles and nods in real life.

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