Questions I Have Asked Myself This Week

If the same person has texted you the message “shit just got real” about an ongoing situation multiple times, at what point can you text back “shit is real. It is staying real. We must adapt to the ongoing realness of this fecal matter”?


Could anything good be happening when a boy yells “Hey Mom, come to the bathroom! I want to show you a new way to pee!”

(Spoiler alert: no)


Are children born in Minnesota equipped with some special internal fur coat or something? This question arose from reading the weather cancellation policy for the public schools and noting that they won’t close for cold unless it is -40 with the wind chill. Negative freaking 40.


Is this child who is laying on my face, breathing directly into my nose, and who just coughed on my eyeball coming down with a cold?

(spoiler alert: yes. Fight, immune system, fight)


What goes on in her little brain?

(wondered after E. said, out of nowhere, while we were eating dinner, “I’m going to say hi to the chicken now and then my shark is going to dance”)

(we were having hot dogs. And we don’t have chickens)


Is it Christmas music time now? How about now? Maybe now?

(no, I will stay strong. Not until after Thanksgiving)

4 thoughts on “Questions I Have Asked Myself This Week

  1. Swistle says:

    It is ALMOST time for Christmas music. ALMOST. There is a station in my area that is already playing it around the clock, and I cheated just a little by adding it to my pre-sets now and then listening to HALF a Christmas song—but now I will wait.

    I once had someone who constantly told me how crazy his life was, oh his life was so crazy right now, things were so crazy, he was so crazy, until finally I said, “This is NOT crazy, if it’s ALWAYS like this: this is NORMAL.”

  2. Katie (@kbaxterk) says:

    My favorite part of the school snow/cold/whatever policy is that, at least at Kiernan’s school, they play outside unless it’s below zero. They are NOT MESSING AROUND.

    Hang out soon? Except not this weekend because I think we have four Thanksgivings and I’m going to the Packer game Sunday. In Green Bay. Where it will be fucking freezing and the point will be (a) football and (b) beer, neither of which I am a fan. Luckily I like Baxter.

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