– That mini Heath bars from their trick-or-treat bags are “spicy”
– That Calliou isn’t on TV now. Or ever. It got cancelled. Because Calliou was too whiny. (That last part is actually true, of course)
– That I have no idea where your maracas are
– Totally weird that your kazoo is missing too.
– That it is illegal to go sledding if it is too cold.
– No, that isn’t candy in my purse. It is medicine. Special chocolate mommy medicine.
– Sure, color on my page. I don’t mind you
messing up drawing on my page.
– We can’t afford that Lego set. Or that one. Or that one.
– Santa can tell if you wipe boogers on your bedroom wall, young man.
– Mama and Dada are just snuggling. Go back downstairs and watch TV. No, really let us finish snuggling.
– I don’t think eating pizza every night is a good idea.
– Your smoothie is green because it is a Ninja Turtle flavor.
Parenting: where honesty is overrated.