At this point, I think it has been fairly well established that the phrase “cherish every moment” is the bane of all of us in the trenches of active parenting, especially when uttered by a grandmotherly type who is decades removed from the grind of daily parenting.
I count it as one of the blessing in my life that I am surrounded by a good community (both online and in my actual neighborhood) of other mothers who understand that I can both love my children so much that it is almost physically painful AND still want to ocassionaly set them on the curb with a “free to good home” sign around their adorable little necks.
M and E have both, so far, escaped the curb this week despite the following list of non-cherisable moments:
– I was enjoying a quiet moment of reading as the kids were playing in the backyard with the neighbor kids. My quiet was interrupted by the sound of hysterical crying. Miles had conked his face against the leg of another child and was experiencing his first bloody nose. I instantly went into “mom mode” and started comforting and trying to stop the bleeding as he cried. As he calmed down and the bleeding started to slow, he exhaled out of his nose and sprayed my one white shirt that didn’t already have stains with a fine mist of nose blood. Awesome.
– Evelyn has started replying with “Um, no, I don’t have to” when being told it is time to pick up toys. Spoiler alert: she is not correct about this.
– Three days after our first visit to a local ice cream shop, I was accused by my dear son of being “unfair” and “mean” for not letting him eat all the ice cream in his child sized cup.
For reference, the place we went for ice cream is a shop called Nelson’s and this is the child sized cup:
No, I’m not kidding. That is the smallest size on the menu.
– Evelyn dropped a hard plastic toy on my foot, breaking one of my toes. The pain was staggering, the kind that takes your breath away and makes you feel, for a moment, like you might barf. In the immediate aftermath, Ev burst into hysterical tears at realizing she’d hurt me and Miles chose to use his most pedantic, know-it-all voice to say “You know, Mom, that this is probably your fault…” before I told him to zip it.
– During a very bad, no good, terrible night earlier this week, Miles was overly tired and bursting with attitude, including the moment where he, with eyes glistening with tears, informed me that “I don’t like bell peppers and you always serve me bell peppers and I don’t know why you do that to me!”. Two things of note here: He has always loved bell peppers and, despite me telling him he didn’t have to eat them, he finished all of his and part of his sister’s portion of bell peppers. Despite this fact, I am still “mean”.
– Ev came over to me, looked me in the eye and said “I’m pooping”. When asked if she’d like to do that on the potty, she matter-of-factly said “No. I’m not going to use the potty ever.”
– In one of the moments when he wasn’t mad at me this week, Miles was curled up on my lap as we watched TV. It was cozy until he farted on me and then tried to use a blanket to wave more of the smell to my nose.
Good thing I have these pictures to look at to remind me why I still like them: