Regrets, I Have a Few..

These were 50% off after Halloween


I bought this bag two days ago. I immediately discarded the gross tan maple ones and ate all the fake banana flavored ones first (mmm, yummy yummy fake banana). Today I basically stress ate all the rest of them while working on a major work project.

My tummy is filled with sugary orange regrets and yet my brain is wondering if there are any bags left at the Walgreen’s across the street from my work.


Over my lunch hour, I took a break from making poor candy decisions and decided to look at pictures of my children as infants. This is nearly always a bad idea. I adore my kids at the ages they are now and there is certainly something to be said for children who can occupy themselves for more than a minute at a time, but when I look at those baby pictures and remember that I am DONE having babies FOREVER…well, things can get a little maudlin up in here.

I mean, c’mon. Look at how delicious they were.


Nothing in the lease says you have to wear pants

I don’t need anymore babies. I don’t even, really, want anymore babies. I just want these particular babies back for a few hours so I can snorfle their necks and take just one more nap with them on my chest.


I had a dentist appointment this week and was given nitrous oxide for the first time. It was A-MAZ-ING (#don’tdodrugskids) and I instantly regretted every past dental appointment I had without the benefit of laughing gas. I have to go back in a few weeks to get a crown put on (good-bye $$, it was nice to know you) and am already looking forward to getting doped up again.

This is probably why it is good that I don’t really drink.


One thought on “Regrets, I Have a Few..

  1. M.A. says:

    Alternatively, you could have called this “Going from candy to a baby.” But beware the “regret wormhole.” You can come out of one of those reveries to discover that years have disappeared. Plus, you save my life over and over, so keep that in mind.

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