Stage 1: Find out that there is a new song released. Stop playing “Hello” on repeat to find it online.
Stage 2: Listen to it for the first time.
Stage 3: Feel ALL THE FEELS
Stage 4: Listen to it again and again and again
Stage 5: Remember that you are at work and that you work in a cubicle and that maybe your cubicle mate doesn’t want to hear it ALL DAY. Put on headphones.
Stage 6: Headphones on, play song again. Close your eyes and imagine yourself in wandering through a light rain, singing this song as the imaginary camera captures the perfect tear running down your cheek.
Stage 7: Remember that Adele is a full decade younger than you and is singing about how it feels to be growing old. This makes you feel even older. Realize that feelings of ‘oh God, I am old and my life is but a blink of an eye and I’ll never accomplish all the things I want to’ can only be soothed by- you guessed it- more Adele.
Stage 8: Sing along at full volume, letting all of your life’s regrets spill out in the passion of the song. Forget you are at work, wearing headphones. You sound amazing.
Stage 9: Apologize to cube mate, assure her you are FINE. Really, fine. No, you’re not crying.
Stage 10: Repeat. stages 3-9 ALL DAMN DAY. Consider taking Nov. 20th off of work so when her new album comes out you don’t have to try to balance your obsessive listening with that whole “working” thing.