Mom: The Album

A confession that isn’t really a confession (because I’m not actually ashamed of this)(I recently read a FB status from someone with young kids vowing never to get a minivan and I found it so utterly tiresome. Like, really? You’re 30-whatever and still worried about looking cool? I’ve never been cool, so thankfully I feel no pressure to start now): I have incredibly pedestrian taste in music. Because I am a 37 year old liberal, the default setting for my car radio is, of course, NPR. But during pledge week, I often switch the station so I can avoid the earnest pleas for more money. And when I switch the station, I usually turn it to the Top 40 station. And I enjoy a little Taylor Swift or Adele even as I listen with a growing sense of awareness that these songs about new love and heartbreak and the like are no longer especially relevant to my life as a married for over a decade to the same person mother of two. I still find the songs catchy and MAN, I sound GOOD singing in the car with Adele backing me up.

But I also sort of feel a bit invisible. I wonder why we have so many songs about love and so few songs about parenting?  I get that love is a Big Deal. But I’d also argue that parenting is just as transformative, if not more, than falling in love is. But where is my power balled about potty training? C’mon, Adele, you’ve got a kid. You can do this.

Given that Adele is probably a little busy right now, I’m going to help her out and write the songs for her. And just like Taylor Swift, I shall write deeply personal songs from my own experiences. My tracks so far include:

Is It Bedtime Yet?

Yes, You ARE Tired

Stop That (Don’t Make Me Say it Again)

I’m Not Your Personal Chef

Screen Time

Meltdown at Target

Bad Mom, Don’t Judge Me

We Don’t Say Butt (The Dinner Table Song)

Why Are You Crying?

I Can’t Hear You When You Whine

Where is Your Shoe?

No, Your Other Shoe

Damn it (The Missing Shoe Song)

Broccoli Is Not a Weapon

Don’t worry guys, I’ll stay humble after my album drops and I’m super famous. So humble.






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