So, I defended my dissertation yesterday.
A year’s worth of work and writing and stress all boiled down to two hours in an overheated room, explaining my work to my committee members, most of whom actually seemed to have read all 165 pages of my work. I admit, I had some doubts about that before I started.
I’m not really DONE done yet though. I have some revisions to do and have to get all my formatting double checked so I can make sure it uploads properly so it can live on the internet forever and probably never get read again. It feels both good and anti-climactic to be sort of done though. I feel like I’ve finished this major thing, but my life is basically still the same afterwards. After my defense yesterday, I had lunch with my buddy and then drove the almost four hours home. Within 15 minutes of getting home I was fully back in the mom role– dealing with a crying child and trying to figure out dinner for the kids and forcing my son to take a bath after catching a glimpse of his dirt caked feet on my couch. After the kids went to bed, Mr. Monkey got some take out of my choosing and we ate dinner on the couch together while watching reality TV. Very academic of us, given that we both have PhDs now.
I do feel proud of myself though. I am now an expert on this one small thing. And it won’t change the world, but it did change how I think of myself and what I’m able to accomplish. So that’s not such a small thing, I guess.