I find myself struggling this morning. There is a darkness in me that matches the darkness of this election. I find myself wishing bad things on future President Voldemort. I think of how, if he dropped dead today, I’d smile. I wouldn’t even feel sorry for his family. I look at posts on Facebook from family members celebrating and I think not only of unfriending them but also cutting them wholly out of my life, slicing them out like a mole gone bad, like a cancer that could spread. I feel certain that the economy will crash and that terrorism will rise as a result of this election and I worry about feeling smug and saying “I told you so” when- NOT “IF”- those who voted for him find that life gets actually worse and not better.
I don’t know what to do and I am so angry.
There are those who are already talking about rising up and fighting the good fight and being warriors for justice…and yes, yes to all those things. But I’m not there yet.
But I don’t want the darkness to win. So I made a donation to Planned Parenthood this morning and to the Trevor Project. I sat and cried with a Muslim student worker in my office. I self-medicated with some Halloween candy. I turned off Twitter and Facebook for a while.
I’m ashamed of my country this morning.